With Arms Wide Open
by KaraLJ
Summary: When Mariah Michaels and her two older brothers return to Tulsa 6 months after their parents died in a house fire, they never expected to be coming back to a living nightmare. In attempts to leave behind their pasts and change their lives, they're faced with hardships, sickness, and loss like nothing they ever expected. One moment, one sole chance to change things.
1. Introduction

We all knew the story. We all knew what the poor kid was going through, yet no one reached out. People teased, taunted, made cruel jokes. I was tired of it. He didn't deserve that, not after losing two of his friends.

The day I read about it in the paper, my heart broke. I was never close to either of the boys who had died, but I was always close with the Curtis family, up until I moved out of Tulsa with my family a few years ago. After my parents died, my older brothers and I moved back into our childhood home, eager to start over. Damien and Matt were both working full time to support us, because let's face it, if you live on our side of the city, you know the ropes. You go without sometimes, but it doesn't bother you, because you know you can make up for it eventually.

I was a junior at the local high school, whereas Ponyboy Curtis was a freshman. I still remember my first day back at that school, just a week after we moved back home. Matt had given me a ride, because he wasn't too keen of the idea of me walking alone to school, and we both knew that I wasn't going to bus. When he dropped me off, my eyes immediately scanned the lot for someone I knew. When I saw Ponyboy, I remember smiling. A sad smile, a smile that spoke the words everyone else was too afraid to say.

That day I skipped out after my English class, already tired of the charade. The only reason I went to school in the first place, was because the state was on Damien's back about my lack of education. I was smart, sure, but I didn't like school, so I skipped a lot. I stopped going all together when our parents died in a house fire just six months ago. We had stayed with our cousins for the first few months, but none of us wanted to be there, because none of us wanted to leave Tulsa in the first place. But we knew the circumstances. We were always forced to move where our dad's work took us.

Anyway, I walked down to the DX, because I was hungry and figured Matt would let me hang out there until school let out. He'd been working there a few days now, thanks to Soda getting him in with the boss. I didn't really mind hanging out in the shop, I actually enjoyed it, especially since Matt had a habit of explaining exactly what he was doing, so I could follow along. That was normal routine for us. I'd skip out half way through the day, and end up wherever he was working, whether it be a ranch, a gas station, whatever. We were close enough that he never told Damien about my class cutting, but he was stern enough to scold me on a daily basis. Eventually, he just gave up and would put me to work. I'd been skipping classes since I was old enough to remember my way around whatever city we were living in.

Let's see. My father was multi-talented man. He worked wherever he could, doing whatever he could, but he was best known for his talent with animals. He worked as a dog trainer, horse trainer, you name it, he could tame it. So we moved around a lot. Damien was born in Upstate New York late December of '46. My parents and their first born son moved to Iowa early spring of '47, where, 11 months after Damien was born, Matt was born in early November. Then I came along when my parents had finally decided to settle down in Tulsa, Oklahoma in '49. I was born January 13th, on one of the coldest nights of the season. Then came along the twins, Margret and Ryan, who were born the summer of '55.

Dad's work took us to the small town of Kiowa, Kansas late into the summer of '62, where we lived for the last 3 years, up until the fire tore through our two story farm house. Both of our parents were killed that fitful night, and we would have perished too, had it not been for Damien and Matt dragging me and my younger brother and sister from the house. Matt was the one who saved me, from the back bedroom, where the fire had blocked off the door. I still have nightmares about that night.

Ryan and Maggie still live in Kansas with our cousins, due to the court not feeling that Damien was capable of caring for four children. Instead, he was rewarded custody of me and my second oldest brother, Matt. When we decided to return to Tulsa, the only home we were in for longer than just a few months or years, our cousins told us they'd keep in contact and let us know how the twins were. The twins were content in the small town in Kansas, with our much wealthier cousins. The money issue didn't bother my brothers or me, because we were used to being low class hoods, no matter what city or town we were in. We were always causing trouble, stealing, fighting. It was just our way.

So when we packed up the old pick up with nothing but our few prized possessions and our two dogs, we had one thing on our minds. A new start, in an old town, and a new name for ourselves. We were tired of living in our cousins socy idealism, and we were more than ready to start our own lives. Our father never made a lot of money, normally trading his services for whatever we needed, be it car oil or dog food. We always got by with little money. Things were different now, and we all knew it.

When I got down to the DX, I sat on top of a pile of tires and watched the boys work. I lit a cigarette and smiled proudly at my brother's handy work.

"Hey Riah," he called. He waved me over.

"Hang on," I called, holding up my cigarette. I wasn't stupid enough to get by a car with a smoke. Matt frowned before walking over to me, his hands covered with grease.

"Skipping school again?" he asked as I handed him a cigarette.

"Mhm," I said with a sigh. "You bring Hunter or Lassie down with you?" I asked. Sometimes he brought the dogs to work with him, to keep them from getting out of the back yard, until we could pitch together enough to mend the rickety old gate.

"Yeah, they're in the back," he said, nodding towards the empty lot. I smiled at that. Those dogs were like other siblings. Hunter was our 8 year old hound mix. We weren't entirely sure _what_ he was exactly. Lassie was our gold and white collie mix. She was no higher than my knees on all four, and since I'm only just over 5 feet, she was considerably smaller than her kennel mate. Hunter was our father's dog before he died. Hunter was the prime example of Dad's training abilities. Primarily because Hunter only has 3 legs.

"Earth to Mariah," Matt said, waving his hand in front of my face, breaking my thoughts.

"What?" I asked, having missed the entire conversation.

"I was asking if you wanted to take the dogs for a walk. I'm sure they're tired of being chained out back," he said, shaking his head.

"Sure," I said eagerly. I wanted to see how much had changed in Tulsa over the last 3 years.

"Just stay within shouting distance," Matt said. Always the over protective one.

"Shoot, she'll be fine with them dogs, Matt. Hunter's a scary lookin' thing," Soda laughed as he came over to join in the conversation. "Anyway, Lassie'll keep her safe," he added.

"She's not named after the movie," I grumbled. Everyone thought that. No. Lassie, our 2 year old collie was named that because she was the only she pup in her litter, and her old owner always called her Lass because of it. So we adapted the name when our father brought her home as an early Christmas gift for us kids.

"He's got a point tho," Matt said with a smile. Lassie was very protective of us kids.

"Think Damien'll head down here after work?" I asked suddenly. If Damien caught me skipping classes again, he'd skin me.

"Prolly. The truck needs work. He called and told me it barely made it down to the ranch," he said shaking his head. Damien currently worked at the ranch just outside of town, that housed the horses used in the rodeos.

"Then I better beat it before he comes by," I said as I jumped off the tires. "I'll be down by Shepard's place, I wanna see what's up with Curly," I said. We lived in between the Shepard's and the Curtis's places. Literally. So it wasn't uncommon for me to end up at either of the two. Curly, Tim Shepard's little brother and I used to be tight when we were growing up, up until boys were gross. Naturally, I'd outgrown that stage since I last saw him.

"I think Curly's in the reformatory again," Soda called as I ran around to the back of the shop. I disregarded that. Regardless, I'd end up down that way, since none of the Curtis boys were home and I had no reason to putter around their place.

"Mariah," Matt called just as I was about to leave.

"Yeah?" I stopped. He rarely ever used my real name.

"Stay on this side of town. I ain't need you getting jumped when no one's around to hear it," he said, his voice soft but stern. "No farther than the Dingo," he warned.

"I ain't going no where near there!" I yelped. Ever since I could remember, dad had warned me to never go near there. It was a rough hang out, and I remembered him telling us kids that a girl got shot there. For that very reason, I always avoided the place, no matter what.

"Why don't you go hang out in the lot by my place? I'll send Ponyboy over after he gets outta school," Soda suggested. "It's safe there," he added, throwing a look in my brother's direction.

"Sure, fine," I said shaking my head. I hated being the only girl at home. It made the boys way too protective.

"Mariah Jane, I mean it," Matt said with way more force than I'd expected.

"Golly, what's got you so worked up?" I asked, holding both leashes firmly.

"I just don't want you getting hurt," he said in a softer tone.

"Shoot, you ain't ever had to worry about me before. I can handle myself, Mathew," I said, sounding exactly like my mother used to.

"I know that Riah, but this isn't Kansas. This ain't even New York. This is Tulsa. You're a hood here. Shoot, you know the ropes," he said shaking his head. This confused me, because all he did was state the obvious. I walked off, pondering what he had just said. It didn't make any sense, because I knew we were hoods, greasers here in Tulsa. We didn't have our aunt and uncle sending money like they had in Kiowa. And we weren't living on a shared farm like mom and dad had in New York. I knew all that, so I couldn't for the life of me understand why Matt was making a big deal outta it. I'd never had a problem carrying my own weight before. Why suddenly, did Matt get so overly protective? I was used to that sort of thing with Damien, who still regarded me as the baby even though we had a ten year old twin brother and sister. Not Matt tho. Matt usually treated me as an equal – an adult.

* * *

I ended up hanging out at the Shack, one of the rougher restaurants in the neighborhood. The owner knew me from when we used to live in Tulsa, and knew what happened with my parents, so he let me bring the dogs in, since both were well behaved and fully trained, thanks to my dad. I ordered a coke and some fries, since I never did get anything to eat at the DX. I ate my food in silence, slipping a fry or two down to the dogs, who ate silently, but happily.

After I was done, I noticed that it was nearing 2:30. That meant I could safely head home without Damien suspecting that I skipped class again. I hated the walk home, even with two dogs at my side. It meant crossing through some of the rougher parts of town, and I certainly wasn't looking forward to that. Sure, I could have hitched a ride with Matt, but I was tired of being the kid sister that had to be driven everywhere. I was old enough to get my license, but naturally, neither of my brothers thought I was capable of driving. It made me so mad.

I decided to walk the long way home, because it was safer, and if anything, I could stop at the Curtis's and call Matt or Damien from there. I started out, watching every movement. I had a slight fear of walking alone, being a girl and all. That was why I like Kiowa. It was calmer. No real dangers. The town was so small that we had known almost everyone. Sure, I loved Tulsa, but I didn't feel safe there, not in our neighborhood.

I practically ran the entire way home, until I reached the lot near the Curtis's house. I stopped there to catch my breath. Hunter let out a low growl as he sat down next to me, Lassie flaking my other side. I took a deep breath and looked around, fully alert. I slowly circled my back always protected by one of the dogs. I don't know why, but I felt completely on edge, like eyes were following me.

"Mariah?" a voice came from behind. I reached for the closest piece of metal my hands could touch and turned quickly, both dogs growling, snapping in the direction of the voice.

"Calm down, it's me," the voice said as the figure came into view. It was Darrel Curtis, the oldest of the Curtis brothers.

"God damnit Darry! You nearly gave me a heart attack!" I yelped as I threw the thin rod aside and lightly pulled on both leashes, calming the two dogs. "Don't you know better than to sneak up on people?"

"Didn't mean to scare you. Saw you from the window. Need a ride?" he asked coolly. He looked exactly how I remembered, except taller, broader maybe. I shook my head.

"Is Soda home? I wouldn't mind someone to walk with," I said honestly. I hated walking alone.

"He is," Darry nodded as he motioned for me to follow. I insisted on waiting outside when we reached the house, still a bit shaken from the whole thing.

"So Darry scared ya, huh?" Soda teased as he came bouncing out of the house.

"Sure did. The dogs went nuts," I laughed softly. My hands were still shaking.

"Well c'mon, you shouldn't be walking alone anyhow," he said as he led the way down the street. Hunter whined and started to leg behind, limping heavier than normal.

"Don't make me carry you," I scolded the old dog. He was normally great for long walks. Apparently even he's uneasy in Tulsa.

"C'mon slow poke!" Soda teased. I jogged to catch up with him.

"So you back in the old house?" he asked as we walked.

"Sure are. Damien's got some fixin' up to do tho. Said he might as Darry to help out with the roof. It's leakin' again," I explained as we neared my block.

"Darry'd prolly love to," Soda said eagerly. "Your brother's truck needs a few repairs too, left him with a spare for now," he explained.

"That's good. Matt and I can walk to where we gotta go, but Dame's need the car for work," I laughed imagining my brother walking all those miles to work, something he would have done if he needed to.

"Yeah. So how you like being back?" Soda asked.

"It's different for sure. I was used to small towns," I said honestly. "I'm so jumpy here,"

"You should hang out with Ponyboy. You two could keep each other outta trouble," he suggested. Normally, I would have been insulted, because Ponyboy was younger than I was, but Ponyboy was more mature than most his age, so I took it as a friendly suggestion.

"Prolly will. Maybe he can keep me in school," I laughed. We stopped outside of my house, and I let both dogs off the leashes. They ran up the rickety old stairs and in through the screen door which stood ajar.

"Thanks for walking with me," I said as I turned to go inside.

"No problem. Hey Riah?" Soda said. I turned to look at him.

"Yeah?"

"You're gonna get tough in your not careful." He walked off without saying another word. That frightened me. That wasn't something someone just said out of the blue. I didn't even know what he meant by that. I'm gonna get tough? Shoot, I fight like the best of them as it was. I couldn't wrap my mind about it.

_Must be something in the water_, I thought as I walked inside, slamming the door behind me. _First Matt says something out of the blue, now Soda? What the hell is it with this town?_

* * *

_a/n;; WAWO is a completely new mini series. :) I decided to recycle Mariah, since I love that name. Anyway, this is the first book of hopefully 3 or 4. :)  
_

_*Full Summary*  
_

_Sometimes you can't leave your past behind, no matter how hard you may try. Sometimes, your worst nightmares come true. When Mariah Michaels and her two older brothers return to Tulsa 6 months after their parents died in a house fire, they never expected to be coming back to a living nightmare. In attempts to leave behind their pasts and change their lives, they're faced with hardships, sickness, and loss like nothing they ever expected. When friends are the only family you really have, you learn to welcome their help, with arms wide open.  
_


	2. Chapter 1 - Mama taught you well

I was in the middle of fixing dinner when Damien walked in, his boots covered with muck.

"Please don't walk across the carpets!" I called from the kitchen, my hands full with the baked chicken.

"I didn't," he said as he walked into the kitchen barefoot. "You cooked?"

"I always cook," I said with a frown.

"You normally heat up whatever was left over from the night before," Damien pointed out. Hunter was watching from his spot on the other side of the baby gate, a hungry look on his face.

"True," I said as I peeled off a piece of the chicken and tossed it to Hunter, who ate it happily. Lassie laid spread out on the living room floor, her long fur painting a pretty picture against the dirty, cream white carpet.

"So how was school," he asked as he sat down, rather than helping me set the table.

"Set the table and I'll tell you," I suggested. I was tired of being treated like the boys cook, maid, and liability. I was a person too, you know?

"Grumpy, grumpy," Damien tutted. I heard the door slam open then saw Matt rush into the kitchen. I sat the chicken on the table as he stepped over the baby gate. Something about his expression scared me.

"Riah, I need you to follow me. Now," he said, his tone far too urgent.

"Sure," I said as I followed him, Damien following both of us. Hunter barked but couldn't push down the baby gate, which we had rigged so he couldn't get hurt in the kitchen. He had a habit of getting under foot during meal times, and we didn't want to trip him up.

Matt ran down the block, which worried me. Matt was a great runner, with long legs and strong lungs, but he rarely ran anywhere. He believed in enjoying the moment, rather than rushing it. So as Damien and I followed him down the street, I was growing more and more worried.

I saw it then. We were less than a block from the lot, well the back of the lot. I stopped in my tracks and sensed danger. Damien looked at me quickly, then protectively put his arms around my shoulders. I shrugged him off and walked forward. The scene was horrific. What didn't make sense, was that the kid wasn't from our neighborhood. He was a greaser, yes, but definitely not from Shepard's gang nor Darry's lot. I stepped forward slowly, before realizing the boy was very much alive. I quickly tore off my coat and ran over to him, wrapping his thin frame tightly in my jacket.

"Damien, go get the medical bag!" I called sharply. He blinked, but took off towards the house, running as fast as he could. I was much like my mother when it came to tending wounds. She had taught me everything she knew, and it often came in handy since we were a rough bunch of kids. I looked the boy over, and saw that he had a gash across his forehead, his lips were swollen, and his arm was badly bruised.

"Hey, shh, what's your name?" I asked him. He had the brightest blue eyes I had ever seen, and he looked no more than 11 or 12 years old.

"S-s-s-Sammy," he whimpered, his lips trembling, tears rolling down his blood stained cheeks.

"Well Sammy, I'm Riah, and I'm going to take care of you, okay?" I said soothingly. Damien returned with the bag and dropped in next to me, laying out the blanket he had thought to bring with him. Lassie must have followed him, because she trotted over to us, her furry tail dipping in the muddy, blood stained grass.

"Okay, Damien, move him onto the blanket. I'm going to try and stop the bleeding," I said quickly, pushing the small dog out of the way. She sat down, watching us with guarded eyes. "Matt, go down to the Curtis's, ask one of them to drive their truck around. We gotta get Sammy to the hospital," I ordered. This was the only time either of the boys would listen to my without question.

"N-no hospital," Sammy gasped. "P-please,"

"Okay, but I can't stitch you up out here. How about our house, is that okay?" I suggested.

He nodded weakly, so I nodded at Matt, who took off across the lot, running full speed. I pressed clean gauze to the worst of his wounds, trying to remember what my mother had told me about head wounds.

"It's going to need stitches," Damien said softly, kneeling next to me, having seen the slight panic stricken expression cross my face. "That, and his arm is going to need to be wrapped. Just like mom showed you," he said, his voice too calm, too careful. I nodded and shifted Sammy's body so his arm was elevated, resting softly on my knee. I heard the sound of squeaking brakes and looked up to see the Curtis's truck driving towards us.

"Grab Lassie," I told Damien. He did, just as the young dog was trying to run up under the trucks tires. Lassie had a thing for herding anything and everything, even trucks.

"Darry, you know who's kid this is?" I heard Matt ask as they both approached.

"No idea," he said truthfully as he knelt next to us.

"Sammy, where are you supposed to be?" I asked softly, my voice soothing, motherly.

"D-doesn't matter," he whimpered. "My folks don't give a rat's ass."

This broke my heart. I had grown up with a lot of kids who got tossed about by their folks. Normally their old man would get loaded and haul off and throw them around. It was heart breaking and made me even more grateful that our parents had been kind hearted people. My father couldn't hurt a fly, even if they wanted to.

"Who did this to you?" I asked, my voice cracking.

"T-take a wild guess," he spat. "M-my ol' man."

I took a deep breath and felt tears welling in my eyes.

"We have to get him back to the house," I said as I stood slowly. Darry and Damien loaded Sammy into the truck carefully, while me and Matt said we'd meet them at the house.

"You okay?" Matt asked as they drove off, Lassie running laps around his legs.

"I hate when I see kids like that. What are we gonna do, Matt?" I asked, tears in my eyes.

"Just what mom taught us to do. We're going to patch him up, and offer him the couch for a few days. We'll keep an open door policy, since we ain't got nothing but the dogs to lose, and we'll keep on caring. Just like mom taught us, just like dad taught us with the dogs," he said sternly. Leave it to Matt to have the biggest heart in the entire family.

Lassie more or less herded us back to the house after that. We made it there a few minutes after Darry and Damien, and I was surprised to find Ponyboy and Soda in our livingroom, everyone crowding around the poor boy.

"Give him room the breathe!" I said as I led Lassie into the kitchen. Left to her own devise, she would have herded everyone until she got stepped on. I opened the baby gate with one hand and pushed Hunter out of the way, until Lassie got the hint and trotted behind it with a smug look on her dog face.

"Silly dog," I muttered as I washed my hands in the bathroom, digging the needle and sutures out of the medicine cabinet. I stepped over the gate and walked into the livingroom, shooing the pack of guys into the kitchen.

"I need quiet," I called over my shoulder. Damien shushed everyone and left me to work in peace.

"So Sammy, right now, I'm going to stitch up your forehead, alright? It's going to hurt a bit, but you were the one who refused the hospital," I said softly. He nodded and pressed his eyes shut. I carefully began stitching the slice on his forehead, using the gentle but accurate approach my mother had taught me just a year earlier. After I was done, I taped a fresh gauze to the wound and went to work on his arm. His arm wasn't broken, but it was clearly in a lot of pain, so I wrapped a bandage around it, tight, but not tight enough to cut off circulation. When I was finished, he sat up, looking scared, but in less pain.

"Golly, you're good at that," he said in a soft tone, less scared now.

"My mother was a nurse for some years," I said with a smile. "She taught me everything I know."

"Where's your mom now?" he asked looking around.

"In heaven. My mom and dad died in a fire six months ago," I explained. "My older brothers saved me and our younger brother and sister," I flinched at the memories. I still had the scar across my right thigh from where the fire licked my skin. "The dogs woke them up, if they hadn't, we'd all have died," I added. That was why I was so protective of the two dogs. They were our heroes.

"That's amazing," Sammy gasped, eyes wide.

"Yeah," I smile. "So, you want to crash here for a couple nights?" I said with a gentle tone.

"Thanks, but no thanks. My ma would have the cops combing the town for me," he sighed. "She won't stop my ol' man from tossing me around, but she sure freaks when I ain't home by sundown," he added, a hurt expression crossing his face.

"Well, Sammy, tell you what. If you ever find yourself without somewhere to go, our doors always open. Just walk on in, day or night," I said with a whole-hearted smile. He smiled and thanked me, then asked if we could give him a ride home. He said he lived a few streets over, which meant he lived close to the Shepherd's house. I made a mental note to remember that.

"I'll give him a ride, then swing back for the boys," Darry said having heard the last part of the conversation.

"Thanks," Sammy and me said at the same time. We smiled at that, then Sammy waved as he made his way out of the front door.

"I don't like the thought of him going back to that house," I sighed.

"Me neither, but you can't stop it," Darry said as he followed the young boy outside.

I walked into the kitchen to find that dinner had already been devoured. I laughed and put Matt and Soda on dish duty, since Damien was preoccupied with trying to fix the coffee maker.

"Shoot, why don't we just get a new one?" I sighed as I let both dogs finally have free roam. Lassie barked cheerfully as she began running laps around anyone who paid her the slightest attention. Hunter, on the other hand, made his way over to the front door, where he laid down, awaiting whoever was to walk in next.

It retrospect, this made the house seem more like a home. A crowded kitchen, countless conversations going on at once, the dogs doing as they normally would, friends and family loitering, cleaning and laughing. It was exactly like our house used to be, before the fire. Except our little brother and sister weren't there. Had they been, there would have been an argument over who would take out the trash and who would clean up after the dogs. Normality. You don't realize you miss it, until you've gotten it back.

I disposed of the used gauze and left over sutures in the garbage, under the chicken bones and used napkins before walking into the bathroom, where I noticed something that worried me. The ceiling was leaking into the tub. The sixth leak we'd found.

"Matt!" I called over the sounds coming from the kitchen. He walked in and cursed. "Get a cup or something," I asked as I washed my hands.

He returned a moment later with the last of our sauce pans.

"We need to get that fixed," I said as we rejoined the group.

"Get what fixed?" Damien asked, looking up from the coffee maker.

"The ceiling. There's another leak in the bathroom," I said.

"Another one? Shoot, anymore, and the roof's gonna cave in on us," he said shaking his head. I agreed with that. It seemed like our childhood home was simply falling apart, piece by piece.

"Ask Darry to take a look when he gets back?" Ponyboy suggested.

"Good idea," Damien nodded as he finally gave up on the coffee maker. "Riah, how you feel about working instead of going to school?" he asked, a question that took me by complete surprise.

"Uhm...Sure? But where?" I asked, eyes wide.

"The ranch needs someone to work the houses, since they're a stable hand short," he suggested. That'd mean working with Damien. Everyday. Oh boy oh boy. Fun.

"Uhm, sure," I said. "Can Lassie and Hunter come too then? I think they'd rather be out there than chained up at the DX," I said softly.

"Prolly be fine. Now go get them dogs out for a walk. It's late, I want you back in no more than an hour, you dig?" he said with a tone that made me flinch. Soda shot me a look but I ignored it.

"Sure thing, Damien, no problem," I muttered as I retrieved the leashes and called the dogs over. Both got up and waited to be leashed, just as they always did after dinner.

Outside, the cool night's air and the silence got me to thinking. Not a good thing neither. I walked down to the lot and sat there, watching the stars over head. It was a beautiful, clear night. I found myself thinking about Kiowa, and how often we, as a family, would go out late at night, without the fear of being jumped or mugged or raped, and watch the stars as they crossed the night sky, only to return home to the sweet scent of hot coco and sugar cookies.

Golly. I sure missed mom.

* * *

_A/n;; In response to a review I received (Thanks so much!) I want to explain why I nearly always incorporate dogs and/or other animals into my fan fictions, is because I always feel that they help me tell the story. They help me add details, and help me remember where I left off. (Believe it or not.) that, and I feel like everyone deserves to grow up around animals, so they sorta work their way into my stories, both fan fictions and any original pieces I write. :) I know it's weird, but hey. :D_

_As always, any and all feedback is greatly appreciated! I thank y'all ahead of time!  
_


	3. Chapter 2 - Fire and Ice

Naturally, as usual, I was late getting back to the house, and Damien practically skinned me alive for it. His voice was harsh, but I knew it was his way of saying he cared. He hollered for a good hour before finally running out of steam. I stood and took it, grateful that his rage was only words, not actions. He shook his head when he was done, and ended the outburst by asking me if I ever used my head.

"I forgot," I said simply, my normal response as I gated the dogs behind the baby gate and went upstairs to my bedroom, which was at one time, shared with both of the younger children. The small closet still had the scribbles of our childhood painted across the white painted door. I flinched when I stepped in a pool of cold water.

"Damien! The ceiling in my room is leaking!" I complained. My room was once part of the attic, as was the room Damien and Matt shared. The house was only a one bedroom when my parents had bought it, but they had converted half of the full size attic into two large bedrooms many years ago.

"Put a bucket under the leak," Damien shouted from downstairs.

"We're out of buckets!" Matt called from his room. He joined me in mine and shook his head. "That explains why the bathroom's leaking," he observed. My room was right above the downstairs bathroom. "Move your blankets into our room, you'll have to share with us," Matt said nodding in the general direction of the other bedroom.

"Why can't I just sleep in mom and dad's old room?" I asked innocently.

"Because we haven't even found the key for it yet," he said coolly. Our parents had had a deadbolt on their bedroom door, from the previous owners, and after we moved out three years ago, the key was lost.

"Hasn't Damien managed to pick it yet?" I asked. I wasn't looking forward to the thought of sharing a room with my two older brothers. I needed my privacy.

"He tried. It wouldn't open," Matt said. I sighed and walked downstairs, heading towards the old bedroom. I studied the door, then an idea came to me. I went through the hallway closet and found a hammer and a screw driver and set my sights on taking the door off the hinges. It was an old fashioned door, the hinges stuck in place. I pondered the situation, and finally settled on trying to hammer the hinges off. After an hour of slamming, and Damien scolding me relentlessly, I managed to get the door off the hinges. Pushing the door open, I looked around the stuffy room. It was clear that the door had been bolted for quite some time, and when I went in, I was surprised with how dusty and smelly it was.

"Be careful in there, Mariah," Matt warned. He shined the flashlight through the room for me. I looked around, not tempted to turn on the light, because by the amount of water on the floor, I knew the roof was worst in that room. I walked through the slushy mess, and gasped.

"I need that flashlight!" I squeaked as I scurried to my older brother's side.

"What'd you find?" Matt asked, his voice a whisper. You'd think we were venturing into a dark attic or something.

"I dunno," I said truthfully as I reached for the flashlight. He handed it over, but kept a firm hand on my back as he followed me back into the dark bedroom. I didn't mind. What stopped me from going any further, was the dogs barking. Hunter and Lassie stood in the doorway of the bedroom, barking viciously. I was surprised, because neither dog had ever reacted like that inside the house before. Matt and I backed up, kneeling next to the dogs. Lassie let out a sharp, high pitched bark and darted into the blackness of the room.

"Lassie, come here girl," I called, afraid to reenter the room.

"Take the flashlight," Matt said as he knelt next to Hunter, keeping a firm hold on his collar. I slowly made my way through the darkness, shining the light around the large room. The floor was a soppy mess, water seeping all the way through my shoes. I carefully stepped further in, and screamed when something jumped on me. I landed hard on the wet floor, my head hitting the ground with a soft thud.

"Mariah!" I heard a loud voice scream. I felt strong arms lift me up, shaking me wildly.

"I'm gonna puke on your shirt, Damien," I growled causing him to set me down. "I'm fine," I added. I shined the light around the room, and saw Lassie sitting on the floor beside me, a ridiculous expression on her face. I would have laughed, if I wasn't soaked from head to toe.

"What were you two thinking?" Damien scolded.

"Shut up a second and listen," I said. I shined the light towards the back of the bedroom, and saw that the window had been shattered. I listened closely, to what sounded like sharp claws scratching at the walls.

"Rats?" Damien suggested. I shook my head. I knew what rats sounded like. Unless these were giant, New York City sewer rats, there was no way that sound could come from a rat.

"Kittens maybe?" I heard Matt suggest. I hadn't realized he was behind us until then.

"Too loud for kittens," I said softly. I walked towards the sound, my hands shaking so much the flashlight was barely focusing. I stopped a few feet from where we heard the sound, and looked down. There was nothing there. Nothing except an old pile of news papers and clothing.

"This doesn't make sense," I grunted as I rummaged through the news papers and clothing. Everything was wet from the leaking roof, but I couldn't find the source of the sound.

"Maybe it's the wind?" Damien finally concluded as he pulled me away from the moldy objects. We all left the bedroom, dumbfounded.

"You stink, go take a shower," Damien commanded. I didn't argue. I felt gross, and my mouth had a disgusting taste it in. I didn't realize at the time, but when Lassie knocked me down, I had ended up swallowing a mouthful of the rotten water.

I stepped into the warm shower, shivering every time a cold drop of water from the ceiling dripped on me. I hurriedly washed my hair and body, all too eager to get out of the shower and under warm blankets. I shivered as I dried off with a damp towel and quickly pulled on my warmest clothes. Shivering still, I made my way through the dark house, all too aware that the boys had turned off the lights. I scurried into my room, Lassie following me, her fur still wet from the flooded bedroom.

"Damien?" I called as I knocked on the door that separated our bedrooms.

"hmm?" he replied as he came to the door, a blanket wrapped around his muscular frame.

"Is the house colder than usual?" I asked. It was early fall, so it wasn't weird for the house to be cold, but it seemed much colder than it was earlier.

"Yeah. It's freezing, come on, get in here and get under the blankets," he said as he held the door open. It was rare to allow the dogs to sleep in the bedrooms, mainly because Hunter couldn't do stairs too well anymore, but when I walked into the dimly lit bedroom, I saw him spread out on the floor, a blanket wrapped around him.

"Lassie needs a bath," I murmured.

"We'll worry about that in the morning, it's too cold now," Damien said as he pushed me onto the queensize bed that the boys shared. "Get under the blankets, you're chattering," he said in a soft, calming tone that he only used when he was extremely tired or worried. I curled up next to Matt, who pulled me close, letting his own body heat warm my freezing skin. Lassie jumped up on the bed and made herself at home on our feet. I shivered violently, not able to shake the chill that ran through my body.

"Glory, she's cold," Matt said to Damien, almost as if I wasn't there.

"We all are," Damien said as he laid down next to us, trying to sandwich me between the two of them. The bed felt crowded, but warm. I snuggled deep under the blankets and groaned when I felt more weight collapse on top of me. I peeked out from under the blankets and saw Hunter's big head staring down at me.

"Lay down Hunts," I muttered, pushing him onto Damien who rolled him onto his side.

* * *

"Well this sure is cozy," Matt joked, wiggling further under the blankets.

I woke up the next morning, colder than I ever thought imaginable. Sure, it got cold in Kansas every now and then, but nothing like this. It wasn't even normal for Tulsa to get this cold. I shivered as I sat up, noticing that the bed was empty except for Lassie, who was curled tightly across my feet.

"Lass," I called softly. She looked up and came to lay across my lap, her fur stuck together from the water last night. She licked my face, but her tongue felt unusually cold. I shivered and stood up, yelping as my bare feet hit the cold wood floor.

Lassie and me ran downstairs, as if to chase away the cold. I skidded to a stop in the doorway leading into the kitchen, all too aware that the gate was down, the back door open. Lassie growled softly, standing protectively at my side. I took hold of her collar and slowly walked towards the open door. Once outside, the warm breeze hit me. _That's so strange, _I thought. How could the house feel like a freezer, if the air outside was warm?

I walked into the back yard and saw Damien and Matt staring at the sky. Hunter sat at their side, his ears back. I looked up and saw the dark, ominous cloud over head. What was even more strange, was the fact that the cloud only covered our house.

"What's going on?" I asked, rubbing my arms. I tried to clear my throat, but couldn't rid it of the annoying scratching feeling.

"You're going to spend a few days at the Curtis's," Damien said as he turned slowly. "I have a feeling the roof's gonna cave," he added as he turned Matt and pushed the tired looking boy into the kitchen.

"Matt?" I asked softly, my hand brushing his arm.

"He hasn't said a word all morning," Damien informed me as he handed me a steaming cup of coffee. I drank it happily, noticing that it seemed to cool way too quickly.

"That's strange," I said as I threw a glance in my brother's direction. Matt was never the quiet type. He normally got me of all people talking.

Hunter started barking just then, his fur standing on end. I looked up and saw why.

"Damien!" I gasped as I jumped to my feet, pulling Lassie with me as Hunter barked, jumping up at Damien, who was no on his feet.

"Get outside!" Damien hollered. "Now!"

Matt snapped out of his stupor and grabbed my arm, pulling me with so much force, it nearly knocked me down. Lassie was barking loudly, running circles around my legs.

It happened so quickly. So quickly, so loudly, so horribly fast, that it was all we could do but freeze. Damien pushed me to the floor with his hands, his arms shielding my body. Matt was next to me, holding both dogs in place, his eyes wide with fright.

The sound of the roof caving in was so loud, it nearly blew my eardrums. I pressed my eyes shut, my nails digging into the soft flesh of Damien's arm. It happened in all of a minute. It started as a crack, and completely caved. I felt wet, moldy wood collapse on top of me, water pouring down from above. I vaguely remember thinking that the water pipes must have burst. I coughed, water filling my mouth. Somehow, Damien and I got pushed apart by a piece of the ceiling, old plaster blocking my view.

That was when pain hit me. I gasped, trying to free my pinned legs but it was no use. I was buried alive, by my childhood home.

"Thank god, she's coming around," a voice said. I felt someone press their hand to my forehead, a warm, soft hand. My eyes jerked open, a scream building in my chest.

"Easy, shh, honey, you're safe," Matt whispered as he slowly moved me into the sitting position. I grabbed him into a tight hug, my heart pounding in my chest.

"What happened?" I asked, my throat burning.

"The roof gave. The water pipes exploded. I dunno. Guess it was piped wrong or something," he said softly as he stroked my head. I realized then that I wasn't in my own house. I looked around, suddenly feeling very panicked. I calmed down when I saw Darry and Damien walking towards us. I pulled my knees to my chest and realized I must have been at the Curtis's. It had been years since I had been there, but it looked vaguely familiar.

"How you feeling kiddo?" Damien asked as he came over and knelt next to the couch. I shivered, but forced a smile.

"I taste nothing but mold, but I'm alive," I said in a scratchy tone. I looked around, trying to find the dogs.

"Lassie's out with Soda. She wouldn't stop running in circles," Matt said with a smile, seeing my expression.

"And Hunter?" I asked, looking around for our father's dog.

"Ri-Ri," Matt said in a soft tone, using my father's petname for me. "Hunter didn't make it out. He got stuck under the wood and..." he let it drop. I saw tears welling in his eyes. "I'm sorry."

I blinked the tears out of my eyes as I pushed away from the couch. I was uneasy on my feet, but I didn't care. I didn't care that I was freezing, or that my head was pounding, or that my legs felt as if they had been crushed by a truck. I ran out of the front door as fast as I could.

I didn't get far. Soda was rounding the block with Lassie just as I was nearing the lot. Lassie, as small as she was, was extremely strong when she was determined. She pulled the leash out of Soda's hands and charged towards me, her long fur flying in the breeze. I collapsed and pulled the small dog into my lap, bawling my eyes out like a baby. Lassie whined and licked away my tears, her fur warming my cold skin.

"_Breathe damnit! Breathe!" Matt screamed pounding on my chest, his eyes full of tears. "Breathe Mariah!"_

_The dogs were barking so loudly, it hurt my ears. I smelled smoke, thick and heavy, choking. Every breath hurt. _

"_M-Matt," I stammered, choking, suffocating._

"_Stay with me, stay with me!" he screamed. _

"_Matt! I can't get to mom and dad! The fire's too thick," Damien had screamed. The dogs howled bitterly, biting at the chains that held them in place. Someone had had the smarts to chain them up. _

"_What?! Go back for them!" Matt sobbed, still pounding on my chest._

"_Matty, I can't. I just can't."_

* * *

"_Let us commend Elizabeth Smith Michaels and David Michaels to the mercy of God," the priest said. _

_We stood side by side, dressed in black, the twins sobbing bitterly between Damien and I. Our aunts, uncles, cousins, family friends, my father's co-workers...so many people gathered to say their goodbyes. Damien stood with a blank expression, his hands on the twins' shoulders. Matt stood on my other side, tears silently falling down his cheeks. His shoulders shook from the sobs. He and I held hands tightly, my own tears streaking my face._

_"We therefore commit their bodies to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in the sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to eternal life." _

_Matt's knees gave way as he sank to the ground, sobbing bitterly. I hugged Maggie, who was beside herself with grief. Ryan was sobbing wildly into Damien's stomach. I blinked the tears from my eyes and kept telling little Maggie that everything was going to be okay, that mommy and daddy were in a better place. _

* * *

"C'mon, Ri-Ri, you're gonna catch a cold if you stay out here," a voice broke into my memories. I looked up, still shaking from the sobs, to find Damien standing behind me, looking the same as he had at the funeral. He put his hand on my shoulder, and whispered something softly that I hadn't caught. I bit back another sob and nodded, standing slowly, Lassie staying pressed against my legs, all life lost in her eyes. She whined softly, her ears flat against her head.

I hadn't noticed that Soda had went back to the house and gotten Damien, but I silently thanked him for doing so. Because in that silent moment, we made a connection that we hadn't had in years, since we were little kids. I couldn't help but cherish that moment, because we had to face it, we were all we had.

"I can't believe this happened," Damien said softly, looking down at me. "I can't believe it's one house after a fucking nother,"

"I know," I whispered. It made me remember an old Robert Frost poem. "Some say the world will end in fire,  
Some say in ice.  
From what I've tasted of desire  
I hold with those who favor fire.  
But if it had to perish twice,  
I think I know enough of hate  
To say that for destruction ice  
Is also great  
And would suffice." I recited.

"That's ironic," Damien commented, still watching me. "We experienced both. Fire and ice," he shook his head.

"Maybe it's a sign," I said softly.

That must have got him thinking, because he didn't say anything after that. I found myself thinking too. Wondering what it all meant. How could one family deserve so much hardships?


	4. Chapter 3 - Deeply Embedded Scars

"Can't we try to rebuild the house? I mean, we have the inheritance in the bank still," Matt suggested the following day. He rubbed his eyes, still far too tired to think clearly.

"The house is completely rotted out, Matt, even if we could afford it, we'd have to tear the damn thing down first," Damien argued, shaking his head.

"We could always move back to Kiowa," I said tiredly. Lassie laid across my lap, her head on my chest, her eyes sad. She missed Hunter almost as much as I did.

"We aren't going back to Kiowa, Mariah Jane Michaels, not for a single moment," Matt barked. I flinched at his reaction. I had forgotten how much he hated that town, blamed it for mom and dad dying.

"We could always go to New York, tho," Damien suggested. "Aunt Mary said she knew some folks who wouldn't mind putting us up for a while."

"I dunno why Aunt Mary can't just send someone down with some money, shoot, she woulda if it was the twins who needed a home," Matt said in an angry tone. That surprised me even more. Matt was not the short tempered one of the family. That was my role.

"Or," I started. "We can pull ourselves together and figure somethin' out here. We all wanna stay in Tulsa, right?"

"Right," both boys agreed.

"An' it's only the three of us, plus Lassie, so I'm sure we can figure somethin' out," I said with a sad smile. "We gotta. We're all we've got."

"Yeah well, sure ain't easy," Matt grumbled. He stood up and started pacing. He always had too much energy that was why he worked on cars so much. It kept him outta trouble.

"Shoot, we can't stay here forever. It's mighty nice of them for puttin' us up as it is," Damien said with sincerity.

"Very much so," I agreed with a smile. Lassie's bark made us all look up. She ran to the front door, barking loudly.

"Prolly Steve or Two-Bit," I laughed. Lassie had taken a liking the to many unexpected guests that showed up regularly at the house.

"Or Pony's home from school," Matt added, his bad mood gone as quick as it came.

"Lassie, come here," I called the little collie. She whined and barked at the door again, just as it opened, Steve, Pony and Two-Bit all filing in, shaking the rain from their hair. Lassie immediately ran circles around their legs, nearly getting stepped on in the process.

"This house is way too crowded," Damien said suddenly as he stood up and walked outside. I followed him, for the simple fact that I had seen his expression, something was really bothering him.

He stopped half way down the street, his hands clenched in fists.

"What's wrong?" I asked cautiously. I felt Lassie nudge my hand, letting me know she had followed.

"This is just screwed up, Mariah, it's one thing after another!" he sighed, shaking his head as the rain pelted down on us. "First the fire, now this?"

"It's gonna be okay, Dame, I promise," I said softly.

"Oh, now you're miss cheery?" Damien grunted. That stung. I was normally the angry, quiet one, not the one to try and hold people together, but when it came to tragedy, I just seemed to cope better than my brothers.

"No. But things are gonna be okay. We've got each other, that's all we need, all we've ever really had," I argued. Damien spat and continued down the street, Lassie following him, running tight circles around his legs.

* * *

"Get your dog," he spat as he kept walking. I pulled Lassie's leash from my pocket and clipped it to her old leather collar. She whined and started to walk a semi straight line, her tongue lolling outta her mouth, making her look completely comical. I pulled her after me as I followed my brother's footsteps, refusing to leave him when he was clearly suffering.

**Damien's POV**

She didn't get it. She was too young, too innocent to understand what this meant. We lost the house. The house that our mother had made our home. The house that we had spent so many years, so many years protecting, fighting for, rebuilding. She was only a baby the year the tornado tore through Tulsa. She couldn't remember the struggle afterwards. How hard dad fought to rebuild the house, even though he barely had the money to care for his infant daughter and toddler sons. I was only 3, Matt was barely 2, and little Riah. Geez, she was only a few months old. I remember dad telling me to keep mom and the babies safe, while he went out to fetch the dogs. I was only freaking 3 years old.

Life wasn't the same after that. Dad always made sure there was money put away in case something like that happened again, in case we almost lost everything. That was why we had any inheritance at all. Because dad thought to be prepared for anything. But we weren't prepared to rebuild the house completely. Shoot, repairing the roof would have cost more than we had. But Mariah didn't understand that. How could she? She was only 16. She wasn't old enough to understand just how bad off we were then, let alone how bad off we are now.

We don't even have a fresh change of clothes. Shoot, it's gonna take months to find something suitable to live in. It's mighty nice of the Curtis's to put us up while we try and rebuild our lives, but that can't last long, can it? How long before Darry gets tired of having three extra mouths to feed, plus a dog on top of it? How long before their generosity runs out?

"Damien, please," I heard her call, her voice breaking. That stopped me, broke me from my depressing thoughts. I turned to see her crying, her eyes rimmed with tears.

"Ri-Ri," I said softly, reaching for her.

"I know it's bad, Dame, I know it, but I don't wanna think it that way. I wanna think like mama always did," she moaned, her voice thick with tears.

"Oh, baby, I know, I'm just more realistic," I said softly as I pulled my baby sister in for a hug. Even tho the twins were the real babies of the family, they had each other, like I had Matt. It was Mariah who was stuck in the middle. And I think that hurt her more than she dared to show us. I hugged her close as she sobbed into my chest. I felt awful, like the worst brother alive. How could I put my baby sister through hell, when we almost lost her in the first place?

"_Dame! I can't find Mariah!" Matt had screamed after the roof finally stopped falling. For all we knew the roof had been falling for hours. It sure felt like it. I pulled myself up, a sharp pain flowing through my arm. I looked at it, and saw a nail sticking out. With my teeth clenched, I ripped it out and tied it off with a piece of my shirt, which had been torn to shreds by the falling wood and plaster. _

_I heard the dogs barking, their barks urgent and loud against the dripping water. Careful not to fall, I trended over the mess, making my way to where Lassie was laying, blood on the white of her fur. _

"_I found the dogs!" I shouted to Matt, who was shifting through the wreckage for sister. I pulled the board off of Hunter, who had been buried under a hundred pounds of wood and plaster. It took forever to finally reach the beloved family dog. When I did, I knew it was too late. He laid limply, his eyes wide with fright, no movement coming from his body. That hurt like hell, you better believe. That had been our father's dog, the only piece of him we had. I cursed and lifted the dead dog out from under the mess and laid him on top of what looked like what was left of the mattress from upstairs. Lassie limped over to him and laid over him protectively. _

_I turned my attention to finding Mariah then. She was a tough girl, but shoot, she was tiny. She could be anywhere. The water was at least a foot and a half deep, making for a hard search._

"_Shit!" I heard Matt curse. I walked over to him, and saw what caused his outburst. Laying facedown under a thick two by four laid our baby sister. We hurriedly pulled her from the wreckage and Matt carried her outside while I retrieved the dogs. If I knew Mariah, which I'd like to think I did, she'd have skinned me alive if I left them behind. _

_I never in my life thought I'd think of Darrel Curtis and co. as angels, but that morning I did. The lot had gathered in our backyard with blankets, first aid kits and the truck. As soon as we were all clear, they went to work on mending our wounds. _

"Dame, let's go ho...back to the house," Mariah begged, pulling at my arm.

"Okay, okay," I said as I wrapped my arms around her. Lassie followed, for once, without trying to herd us. I think maybe that damn dog knew how bad things were. Maybe she knew more than we did.

We walked home in total silence, up until Lassie decided she wanted to go on an adventure. I sighed and chased her halfway around the block before she finally stopped, sitting down right in the middle of the empty lot that was literally no more than a few hundred yards from the Curtis house. She sat there and starting howling. It made me stop dead in my tracks. Damien squeezed my shoulders as we watched Lassie. We had heard that howl before. It was a pained, heart breaking sound. The same sound we heard the night our parents died.

Damien wrapped his arms around me and held me close, while we listened to Lassie howl for 10 straight minutes. When she was done, she bowed in a sense, her butt in the air, her head on her front paws. Almost as if she was praying. We watched in silence, silently remembering the night our parents were taken from us. The night the fire took away the only people we really truly loved.

We slowly walked to the house after that, while Lassie wandered off, probably to spend the afternoon with her beloved friend. I silently wished she'd had just followed us home. She was my own real friend now, my only reminder that we are strong and we would survive.

"Riah, lemme see your leg," Matt said the second we stepped through the door. Up until then, I had forgotten about the deep cut I had received the night before. I sat on the couch and pulled my pant leg up. Matt went about cleaning it, the perfect male nurse. He weakly cracked a few jokes to get me smiling, and for his sake, I did.

The evening was quiet. Once Soda and Darry got home from work, I offered to help cook, since that night, everyone had decided to stay for dinner, making for 8 people. Plus Lassie, who still wasn't home. I kept glancing out the window, every chance I got.

"Hey Mariah?" Steve called from the living room as I was putting the third chicken into the oven.

"Yeah?" I called back, trying not to tip the pan.

"I thought you only had one dog now?" he called.

"I do, Lassie," I said, looking up. I managed to get the chicken into the oven without spilling the broth and came into the living room to see what he was talking about. Much to my relief, Lassie was sitting on the front steps, her fur damp and muddy. To my surprise, beside her sat a small chocolate brown puppy. Or at least it looked like a puppy from where I was.

"I don't know who that is," I muttered as I walked outside. Lassie jumped up on me excitedly, her tail wagging. I looked at the little brown dog and smile. He was a little pit bull mix puppy, no more than two or three months old. He yapped happily as I rubbed behind his ears.

"Hey little guy," I said softly. He was so skinny, you could see almost every bone in his tiny body. Had dad been alive, he would have brought the puppy in, no questions asked.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Bring him inside," a voice came from behind. I looked up to see Darry watching me. I smiled and picked the small pup up, holding his thin body close to my body. "What's one more mouth to feed?" he said with a smile. As soon as the puppy was inside, everyone swarmed around him, petting him and feeding him scraps of last night's left overs. I smiled brightly, watching the puppy hop from lap to lap, sucking up all the attention.

"What are you gonna name him?" Matt asked as he clipped Hunter's old collar around the puppy's neck. The collar was too big, but Matt adjusted it so it fit just right. I thought about it for a moment.

"Chance," I said with a smile. Matt nodded with approval and handed the puppy to me.

"Go take him for a walk before dinner's done," he said.

"I'll come with," Soda eagerly offered. I smiled and nodded, handing him Lassie's leash.

We soon learned that Chance was not leash trained. He tugged and bit at the leash, until I gave up and carried him down the block. At first, Soda and I said nothing, then he stopped and turned to me, a sad look on his face.

"You know, I know what you're going through," he said softly. I set Chance down on the ground, letting him tug at the leash while I thought about that.

"No you don't," I finally said slowly. "You can relate, but you don't know,"

"I do tho. I know what it's like to be stuck in the middle. And how it feels to lose your parents," he said with total sincerity.

"Yeah, but you don't know what it's like to lose your house, twice in one year. Or how it feels to be the only girl growing up with a bunch of guys," I pointed out.

"True," he said, looking down at his feet. "But I know it's gotta suck,"

"Yeah," I said softly as I knelt down, untangling the leash from Chance's legs. He licked my nose happily, his wiggly little body making me smile. "You know what tho," I said as I looked up at Soda. "We're real lucky too. My brothers and me I mean. We got lucky having you and your family and the gang there every step of the way," I said with a warm smile on my face. "If it wasn't for you lot, we prolly woulda had to go back to Kiowa and deal with our no good, ritzy cousins."

The made Soda smile.

**Matt's POV**

I was normally the happy go lucky one of the family, at least Mariah would say so. But when your world's fallin' apart, it's kinda hard to be happy or go lucky. I was tired of sleeping on the floor. Tired of wearing the same clothes every day, tired of wondering how long it was going to last. I was just plain tired. And it'd only been 2 days.

Gosh, I sure was scared when we couldn't find Mariah yesterday tho, under all that mess. Shoot, if we lost her, Damien and me just mighta fallen apart all together. She's the one thing that keeps us grounded. 'Cause we gotta protect her. She's the baby. But all the same, she's the toughest chick you'll meet.

I walked around the crowded house, missing Hunter all the more. He was dad's dog, and he was loyal to the bitter end. That dog would sit and listen to ya for hours, without moving an inch. At least Riah will have her hands full with the new puppy, maybe it'll keep her from getting too bitter. God only knows that girl's got too much anger and hate towards the world.

"Hey Matt, c'mere," Damien called waving me into the empty kitchen.

"Sup?" I asked.

"You notice how Riah's been acting 'round Sodapop?" he asked in a hushed tone.

"What do you mean?" I asked. I noticed that she seemed to warm up to Soda faster than Ponyboy or Darry, but that wasn't unusual, Soda had that charisma about him.

"I think our baby sister finally's experiencing her first crush," Damien tutted shaking his head.

"No way. Anyway, her first crush was Darry, back when she was like 13," I corrected him. Mariah could go on for hours about Darry. It was actually sorta sick actually, seeing how Darry was a few months older than Damien.

"Hell no. I would smash their heads in," Damien growled in a soft hiss.

"She got over it," I amended quickly. I knew Damien had a problem with Mariah showing any interest in guys whatsoever. "What makes you think she has a thing for Soda?" I asked.

"Who has a thing for Soda?" a voice chimed from the doorway. We both spun around to see Steve standing there, his eyes wide.

"No one," Damien said quickly, his tone way too sharp. I elbowed him in the ribs. It was no secret that Damien didn't like Steve one bit. I think it went way back to when Steve stole his girlfriend five years ago. Damien could hold grudges for a long time.

* * *

We sat at the park for a while, watching the clouds in the sky, exchanging stories about the last three years. It seemed hard to believe that it had been that long since Soda and me actually sat down and really talked. We were friends growing up, born a few months apart. He was 17 now, while I was still 16, but that had never come between us before. I wasn't like normal greaser girls. I rode in rodeos like the best of them, fought with no remorse, and held my own in a rumble as well, if not better than his kid brother. Tho we grew up on the same side of town, we were just as different as we were alike. Which was how we became friends in the first place. That, and he saved Hunter from getting hit by a car the weekend we moved away 3 years ago. Hunter had chewed through his leash when we had him tied in the back yard and started darting into traffic. Soda had ran out risking his own life to catch him. I think that was the day I realized I could rely on Soda for just about anything.

As the sky grew darker, we finally made our way home, knowing dinner was just about ready. He carried Chance while I led Lassie, who was oddly sluggish that evening. I didn't think much of it tho, the young dog had been through a lot the last few weeks, what with the move and the house falling apart and everything. She whined as we quickened our pace, eager to get something warm in our stomachs.


	5. Chapter 4 - Breaking Apart

The following morning broke all of our spirits even further. We all had places to be and jobs to get to, so Darry and Damien split up the gang. Darry took Soda and Matt to the DX while Matt dropped Steve, Two-Bit and Ponyboy off at school, then swung back around to pick me and the dogs up so we could get out to the ranch.

Once we were there, is brought back a lot of memories. I hadn't been hands on with horses since I was about 13, even though my aunt lives right by a ranch in Kiowa. I lost interest in riding and showing, rodeos and mucking stalls, even though next to the dogs, that was my life growing up. Damien had filled me in on the horses on the ride over, so as soon as I stepped out of the car and turned both dogs out, I headed to the stalls. I already knew that Lassie would enjoy following the other farm dogs around and Chance would follow her wherever she went.

"Mariah Jane, I'll be damned, you sure did grow up, missy," Mr. Randell said as he handed me a pair of boots, a flannel button up and a pair of tight fitting jeans. "You're going to be working that new filly o'er there. I can't get the damn thing to turn barrels," he explained. He knew I had been the best of my family with young horses, as long as they weren't too ornery. I'd been thrown a handful of times before, and didn't much like it. "Try an' see if you can't break her these next few months, you'll be working 'er and mucking the stalls and I hopes to see ya in the rodeo Saturday," he went on.

"Dunno about the rodeo, but I can handle the other stuff," I said with a smile.

"Why, Stargazer ain't been the same since you stopped ridin' 'im. Can't even put him to good use no more. Sure would love to see 'im in one more rodeo," he sighed.

"I'll think about it," I said as I walked off to change. Damien tacked up the filly, who was a beautiful black thoroughbred with a white splash on her forehead and led her out into the ring for me.

"Meet Midnight Belle," he said as he handed the reins over. "She's calm, as fillies go," he added before leaning over to whisper in my ear "Randell expects you to start teachin' lessons to the younger jockeys at some point. Told 'im you'd do it after you got Belle broke, so no rush." He patted me on the back and climbed over the fence, stalking off to do whatever it was he was hired to do.

I mounted the young horse and smiled, feeling right at home. I warmed her up with a few laps around the ring, before kicking her into a canter, eager to get a couple jumps outta the way before trying any barrels. I wasn't much of a classic rider, I rode western and rode well. But I knew Randell took pride in his horses being multitalented.

"C'mon girl," I said as I pushed her into a half gallop, attempting to get her to turn to barrel. She whined and tossed her head, stopping so quickly I nearly flew forward. She stomped her front hoof and snorted. Golly, I was in for a long day.

* * *

Around noon Damien found me mucking an old broodmares stall, his eyes red, as if he'd been crying. I stopped what I was doing and closed the stall door, nodding for him to follow me out back. Lassie caught sight of us and barked happily, running around the open gate to greet us, Chance at her side. I ignored the dogs and focused on Damien, who I had only seen cry all of 3 times.

"What's wrong?" I asked, my heart sinking.

"Social services called. Word got out that you dropped out, and that the house fell apart, and they're threatening to take you and Matt away," he said, his voice soft and shaky.

How'd they even know we moved back to Tulsa? I thought our cousins were covering for us?" I asked, alarmed.

"I guess they looked us up. She said she wants to see you back in school as of tomorrow. And we're supposed to tell her where we're staying now," he said shaking his head "But we can't tell her Darry's putting us up, because that house is barely big enough for three kids, let alone six, and I don't wanna be the one to screw up him having custody of Soda and Ponyboy," Matt let out a soft sigh.

"Then we split up. Matt can stay with the Curtis's, because it makes sense, Soda and Matt work at the same place, the same shifts. You can stay with Two-Bit, since his mom loves you anyway, and I'll stay with Shepard...or better even, Buck. They won't look for me there," I said, feeling like it was a brilliant plan.

"That won't work. I'm supposed to be watching you two, remember?" Damien said shaking his head. "Our only option is to play it cool. You'll go back to school, and I'll figure the rest out."

"I'm not going back to school!" I growled. "I'd rather shovel horse shit!"

"I don't care. I'm not asking, I'm telling. You're going back to school, if I have to tie you to Two-Bit's arm," he shouted. I felt hot tears rolling down my cheeks and stormed back into the stable, slamming the door behind me.

* * *

Dinner was quiet. Matt wasn't worried about the social worker being on our case, instead, he had something worse on his mind. He didn't say anything until half way through dinner, when he was clearly tired of trying to keep it to himself.

"So I went down to the post office today to pick up our mail," he said, causing both Damien and I to look up. Soda, Darry and Ponyboy all looked up too.

"Yeah? And?" Damien asked.

"And...well," Matt tossed a letter onto the table, tears in his eyes. "Looks like Social Services can't touch me," he went on. "I've been drafted."

The words hung heavily in the air. We all knew it was a possibility for the boys to get drafted. Anyone 18 or older without guardianship of a minor was at risk. We had been keeping our hopes high that Matt would be skipped. Shoot, he had only been 18 for a few weeks.

"No," I said as it sank in, really hit me. "No!"

"Mariah," Damien shushed with a wave of his hand. "Matt, you've gotta run, Mexico's not far. Take the truck and go."

"I'm not running. Dad didn't teach us to run away from our responsibilities," Matt said shaking his head, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Dad didn't teach us to be sissies,"

"Dad's dead!" Damien shouted, slamming his fist down on the table. "Dad's dead. Who gives a flying fuck what dad would want! You're needed here! With your family!"

"Damien!" I shouted, getting up, tipping my glass of milk over in the process. "Don't you dare talk to him like that!"

That made something snap in my oldest brother. He got up and grabbed me hard, slamming me against the wall.

"You shut your trap, you fucking idiot. Do you want your brother to die?" he shouted in my face before letting me drop to the floor. I pressed my mouth shut, letting hot tears fall from my eyes.

"Dad wouldn't want me to run," Matt said strongly. "And if you ever touch Mariah again, I'll shoot you myself," he added as he came to my side and nodded at Soda, who grabbed my arm and led me out of the kitchen, Ponyboy following. I guess Darry was going to try and calm them down. I didn't really care.

Ponyboy offered me a cigarette as we walked outside, Chance at our side. I picked up the little puppy and held him close as sobs broke free. Soda hugged me tightly, saying something about how things were going to be okay if we pulled ourselves together. I didn't comprehend most of what he said. I wasn't even sure if he was trying to comfort me or himself.

* * *

I spent the better portion of that night in the lot with Soda and Ponyboy. We talked, tossed the football around, and just tried to escape the events of that afternoon, together. Ponyboy headed home around ten to tell Darry where Soda and I were.

The two of us laid our jackets on the cold ground and laid down there, watching the stars over head. For once, even the ever hyper, always moving, Sodapop was tired. Chance and Lassie took turns laying across us, keeping our bare arms warm, while we tried to sort through the mess of a life we had.

"You know, you're brave," Soda said suddenly, rolling over so he could look me in the eye.

"How so?" I asked as I propped myself up on my elbows.

"You stood up to Damien. That took guts," he said as he reached across the small space between us and took my hand. "I mean, you're only 16. You stood up to your brother, 'cause of what you believe in,"

"It's because our father would never have let Matt run from the war. Shoot, he'd have skinned Damien for just thinkin' it," I said with a shake of my head. "It'd be like me running from the rodeos just 'cause I fell down and got hurt. You gotta get back up and keep fightin' ya know?"

Soda nodded and looked like he wanted to say something else, but didn't know how.

"What's up?" I asked as I sat up, rubbing my cold arms with my hands. He reached over and pulled me against him, warming me up.

"You know..." he started, then seemed to lose his words. "After Sandy moved to Florida, it killed me. It made me take a real long look at my life," he whispered. "With everything that happened, ya know?"

I nodded and looked up at his dark chocolate brown eyes, my heart racing in my chest.

"But it all got better when you moved back to Tulsa. I remember that first day you walked down to the DX with that sassy look on your face. I almost exploded," he went on. I smiled at that. "I think I might love you, Mariah Jane," he whispered in my ear. I felt myself blush and was more than grateful for the darkness of the lot.

"I've always thought I loved you," I admitted before I could stop myself. He tilted my head up so I was gazing directly into his eyes.

A sound of footsteps approaching broke our moment. We both looked around for the source of the sound, and nearly jumped outta our skin when Darry came walking across the lot.

"You two are gonna get sick if you sit out here all night dressed like that," he scolded as he pulled us to our feet. "It's late, get home," he added as he picked up our jackets and handed them to us. Soda and I exchanged a look, then laughed as he ran home, the dogs following at our heels.

Soda and I decided to change sleeping arrangements that night, since the living room was more than a little crowded. Damien was still fuming and Matt was in a reckless, bitter mood, so I didn't want to spend the night listening to them throwing insults back and forth. Ponyboy offered to give me his bed, but I gratefully declined, instead, tossed a blanket and pillow down on the floor next to the bed he shared with Soda. Soda said I could take the bed, but once more, I declined.

"I like the floor," I said honestly. I liked being able to have the dogs curl up next to me, and I liked the cool feel of the floor.

"You're weird," Pony mumbled as he dropped another pillow down to me.

"So are you," I laughed as I sat down on the pillows, trying to get the knots outta my hair.

"Mariah?" Matt called as he padded down the hallway. He peeked in and saw me on the floor.

"What?" I asked, half paying attention, my fingers gingerly braiding my hair.

"I'm sorry," he said as he leaned down to give me a hug. He left the room without another word. I didn't worry myself about it. I'd seen both of my brothers heated at one another before, and knew better than to get between them. Especially when Damien already threw my across the room once.

Chance and Lassie bounded into the room and laid down next to me as I laid down, saying goodnight to both Soda and Ponyboy. They returned it and shut off the lamp.

I actually slept soundly that night, up until the nightmares of the war and social workers started that is.


	6. Chapter 5 - Give Me Someone To Love

I didn't go to school the next day, not that I even planned to in the first place. Damien had left early in the morning for the ranch and left Darry to handle getting everyone where they belonged. Matt decided to skip work, because he needed time alone to deal with his future. He said he'd come home by dinner and spend the night with me and Damien, but needed us to leave him alone during the day. So I agreed with a sinking feeling in my heart.

"Did he tell you when he has to leave?" Soda asked softly as I pulled a chocolate cake out of the oven, handing it to him to frost.

"No, and I don't know what happened to the letter," I said shaking my head.

"He leaves the day after tomorrow," Darry filled us in. "And I think he took the letter with him."

"So soon?" I asked, feeling tears welling in my eyes.

"Afraid so," Darry said with a sad shake of his head. I knew what was going through his head. He was thinking about how close to Soda's 18th birthday it was. In less than a year, Soda too could be drafted.

"Soda, you coming?" Steve called from the front door. I glanced at Soda, who was staring directly at me, thinking hard.

"I'm taking today off," Soda called as he set the cake on the table, going into the living room to explain himself. Darry didn't say anything.

I walked into the bathroom and closed the door softly before sinking to the floor, letting the tears fall, the sobs racking my body. I must have stayed there for longer than I thought, because eventually, I felt someone pushing the door open, with me still leaning behind it.

"C'mon, there's better places to cry than the bathroom," the voice said. I got up and wiped my eyes, nearly running smack into Steve. Now, Steve and I never really had a problem with each other, but we weren't friends either.

"Sorry," I muttered as I pushed past him. He turned around to say something, but I slammed the door to Soda and Ponyboy's bedroom before he could. I shifted through the closet, trying to find something that was close enough to my size to wear. I settled on one of Ponyboy's black t-shirts and a pair of Soda's dark blue jeans. I changed quickly and pulled my long hair into a tight ponytail before opening the window as wide as it would go. I shivered at the thought of climbing down the side of the building, but figured it was easier than dealing with everyone as they were getting ready to go to work or school. I ran to the lot and managed to wedge myself between two empty garbage cans. I sighed and looked up at the sky.

"Why Matt? Of all the people you could have taken from me, you decide to take Matt?" I shouted to no one in particular. I sat down and pulled a cigarette from my pocket. I lit it and smoked, shaking my head bitterly.

Before long, I heard the barks of my at the moment, unwelcomed collie. Lassie nudged me, barking loudly, her tail flailing behind her.

"Hey," Soda said as he offered me his hand. I sighed and took it, letting him pull me from my hiding spot. "How'd you get past everyone?" he asked, his eyes wide.

"Bedroom window," I said with a laugh. The look on his face was priceless, like I just invented the greatest escape route ever.

"Well next time tell someone?" He asked softly.

"Maybe," I said with a nod. He smiled and pulled me closer to him. We sat down on the bench and watched the clouds cross the sky.

"You stole my jeans," Soda noted, pulling at the loose material.

"I had to. It was that, or dirt covered work clothes," I laughed.

"It's bad that you pull off guys clothes," Soda teased. I punched him playfully and smiled.

"It's weird that you're skinny enough to have pants in my size!" I exclaimed. I wasn't fat, but I wasn't skinny either. I had muscles from years of working out with my brothers and riding horses, lifting hay bales and cleaning out stalls.

"No fair," Soda laughed as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "So, how you holdin' up?"

"I've had better mornings for sure," I said with a shake of my head. "Damien never gets up before the rest of us, not even after mom and dad died," I explained. "And he ain't ever pawned me and Matt off on someone else before."

"Well shoot, it wasn't pawning you guys off," Soda said with a smile. "I'm glad to spend the day with you," his voice made my heart skip a beat.

"I'm glad you are too," I said with a shy smile.

It started to rain, so we had to run back to the house, which was now empty, in order not to get soaked. I curled up on the couch and flipped through the stations, not entirely paying attention to what was on.

"So, remember what I was saying last night?" Soda asked as he brought a steaming cup of hot chocolate and sat it down on the coffee table in front of me. I picked up the cup and nodded, taking a sip.

"You said you think you might love me," I whispered as I looked into the dark, glowing eyes. He smiled and sat down next to me, draping his arm around my shoulders.

"Yeah," he said as he leaned in. I set the cup back onto the table and leaned forward, my heart pounding in my chest. He kissed me softly, at first, before kissing me more passionately, harder, until we both had to pull apart to breathe. He smiled sweetly, his cheeks turning a soft pink color. I smiled and felt my own cheeks grow warm. We sat there, just staring at one another, in complete silence. Until Chance decided to start barking at the back door. I smiled and stood up, scooping the little dog up. He wiggled in my arms until I made sure the back gate was locked. I set him down and called Lassie, who came bounding out the back door, her tail wagging in the light wind.

"Mariah," a voice came as I was cleaning up a few stray pieces of garbage from the yard. I looked up and say Matt climbing over the fence, because both dogs were crowding the gate. "We need to talk."

* * *

"So you're saying goodbye, just like that? You're not even gonna stick around to say goodbye to Damien?" I asked, fresh tears rolling down my cheeks. Soda was sitting next to me, holding my hand tightly.

"Yeah, and no. Damien told me to 'just go' last night. And since I have to be in Oklahoma City in two days anyway, I figured, since I'm walkin' I might as well get goin' now," he said, shaking his head. "Don't worry, you're gonna be fine. Guess Dame is figurin' something out with social to see if he can keep you here, without screwing up the Curtis's lives," he said as he threw a friendly smile in Soda's direction.

"I can't believe you," I said shaking my head sadly. "So after everything we all been through, you're just up and leavin'? Shoot, that's hardly any fair."

"Life ain't fair Riah. The sooner you realize that, the better," Matt said as he stood up, slinging his coat over his shoulder. "I love you kiddo. Stay safe," he said as he made his way to the door. "Oh, and Soda?" he said as he stopped and turned around. "If you hurt her, it's your skin I'll be after," with that, he left.

It took a few minutes to fully sink in. My favorite brother, the nicest person in the world, was doomed to fight for this country. Fight in a war he had no business fighting in.

Soda held me close as I cried bitterly into his chest. I was proud of my brother, but in the same sense, I was disappointed. Damien would be devastated to find out Matt left without a goodbye. It shouldn't be like this. This shouldn't be how we're going to be living.

* * *

When Damien got home from work late that afternoon, I had no idea what he was going to do. Not until he threw yet another curve ball at me.

"You're going to live with our cousins up in Kiowa, until I can drag Matt home," he said shaking his head "It'll keep social services off my tail and keep you outta trouble."

"No," I said simply. "I ain't goin' nowhere and neither are you."

"Mariah Jane Michaels I do not have time for your stupidity," Damien growled. "Either you go up to Kiowa, or I'll send you down to Texas to live with Uncle Ron," That was a low blow. Uncle Ron was a monster of a man. He did things to his nieces...things no man should ever do to a girl.

"If you send me to Ron, Daddy'll haunt your ass 'til the day you die," I said with pure hatred. "Anyway, I'll be 17 in a few weeks. Social Services can kiss my ass. I'm going to stay put, right here," I said with so much anger dripping in my voice, that Damien backed off. It took a whole hell of a lot to get me angry enough to kill, but Damien sure did manage to push me that far.

"You'd rather Matt died, huh?" Damien growled.

"No. But if I gotta lose one brother, I'd rather keep the other, ya dig? I've lost enough people in my time. I've lost enough friends, enough family. I like it here. I love Tulsa. Shoot, I'd rather deal with rumbles than a house full of ankle biters or a monster of a man. Damnit, Damien, I'm not a little girl no more!" I said.

"Mariah, you're always going to be a little girl. You're far too stupid if you think otherwise. You'll always need someone telling you how to live, because otherwise, you're going to end up getting yourself killed, just like any other idiotic teenager! Grow the hell up Mariah! This is how life is. This is what happens to people!" Damien shouted. He threw his empty coffee cup at me. It struck me across the face. I felt my blood go cold, as I grabbed the jacket Ponyboy had loaned me off the chair and bolted out the front door, Lassie close at my side.

I walked down to the DX and popped the lock on the backdoor. The shop was empty and quiet, and despite the darkness, I knew exactly where I was going. I walked over to the car Matt had been fixing, a 1958 Chevrolet Impala, that he took great pride in. The owner of the car was trying to get it running before selling it, and Matt was first in line to purchase the car, before the roof collapsed. I don't know what was going to happen to the car now, but I knew it was the one thing, other than family, that Matt truly loved. I popped the hood and saw that Matt was halfway through rebuilding the motor, a skill he picked up when he was just a kid. I flipped on the lights and went to work, picking up where Matt left off, reciting the steps he had taught me out loud.

"I didn't know you could fix cars," a voice came, causing me to drop the wrench I had been holding. I looked up to see Steve standing against the wall, the keys to the shop in his hand.

"I only know a few things," I admitted as I slammed the hood of the car. I slid in and turned the key in the ignition, and much to my surprise, the car started up with a loud purr. I smiled proudly and shut it off before getting out. "Matt loved this car. He would come home and recite the steps until I knew them by heart," I said. This wasn't the first Impala Matt had fixed. He had rebuilt motors for the same make and model several times before.

"I've never met a girl who could fix cars before," Steve laughed.

"I'm good with my hands," I said as I put the tools back into the toolbox and made my way over to him, Lassie still at my heels.

"Kinky," Steve teased. I slapped him on the arm playfully and stepped outside, surprised with how dark it was now.

"Shoot, what time is it?" I asked.

"A little after midnight. Soda made us all go out lookin' for you," he said with a shake of his head. "I tried to tell him you'd be here or down at the ranch. Since you didn't hijack anyone's car, I checked here first," he explained.

"Hah," I laughed as I grabbed the jacket from the work bench and slipped it on before starting down the street.

"Hold up," Steve called as he locked the door behind us. "Walk with me," he added as he jogged to catch up with me.

"Why?" I asked, shaking my head.

"Because Soda's my best friend, and I wanna know where your head is," he said, his voice completely serious.

"Whatcha mean?" I asked as I lit up a cigarette. Lassie was running circles around us by then, so we slowed our pace.

"He's in love with you, Mariah," Steve said softly. I stopped and nearly choked on my cigarette.

"He said that?" I asked. Though Soda said he _thought _he was in love with me, I never thought he really meant it.

"No, but I can tell. The way he flipped when you didn't come home, the way he went off on your brother for upsettin' you. He loves you," Steve said. I looked at my feet before looking Steve in the eyes.

"I love him too," I whispered. "That's why I won't leave Tulsa," I added, tears in my eyes. "I'm done leaving, done running."

"Then go home to him, go home and tell him that," Steve said softly.

That was the first time Steve ever spoke to me as a person, not just some chick he was stuck looking out for. But that night he really acted as if he cared. It was refreshing, even though it didn't really change anything between us.

I pushed open the front door to see a flock of faces staring back at me. Darry gave me a knowing smile, Ponyboy waved, and Soda had me locked in his arms before I had a chance to set my bag down.

"Can't...Breathe!" I yelped trying to push him away. He let me go, but stayed glued to my side. I shook my head, then looked around.

"Damien went to find Matt before he gets deployed or whatever," Darry said catching my expression. I nodded, then whistled. Lassie came to my side, her tail low. I whistled again.

"Where the hell's my dog?" I growled, anger filling my veins as I pushed past them and stomped into the kitchen. I grabbed Lassie's leash and clipped it to her collar before slamming the back door.

I whistled again, and watched as Lassie darted over to the dark corner of the yard and whined. I followed her and found Chance digging a hole under the fence. I laughed as I scooped him up, wrapping the small pup close to my body.

I walked back inside and quietly made my way to the room Soda shared with Ponyboy. I laid down on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling.

"Scoot over," a voice came as someone sat on the bed next to me. I scooted over, smiling over at Soda, who laid down next to me. "You good?" he asked as he pulled the thick blanket around us. I nodded, then rolled over so I could look him in the eyes. I felt tears rolling down my cheeks, but I made no effort to hide them.

"Why does Damien insist on trying to change people's lives?" I asked.

"He's trying to protect you and Matt, that's all," he said softly as he reached to wipe the tears from my eyes.

We laid there, in the comfort of our own world, our own thoughts, for hours. Until Darry came in and told us dinner was done.

Dinner that night was quiet. Even the ever talkative Soda was quiet. Darry had made roasted chicken, baked potatoes, rolls, and peas. By far one of the best meals I've had since my parents died. But even with that, it felt off. Everything tasted wrong.

"You okay?" Ponyboy asked as I helped him do dishes after dinner was done.

"Yeah," I said with a sigh.

"You sure?" Ponyboy pushed. I gave him a funny look, but decided to let everything out.

"Shoot, one of my brother's gonna end up dead, 'cause of this damn war, my other brother is off who knows where, pissed because Matt isn't gonna run away from his destiny, then I have social services to worry about, and hey, let's add on the fact that I have to work tomorrow, and I don't have a ride to the damn stables," I said, my tone sharp. I took a deep breath before continuing "Oh, and to top it off, it's all a matter of time before I have to find somewhere else to live, because I'm not gonna be the one to get you and Soda sent to a boys home. So I have a lot goin' on, you dig?" I sighed and slammed the plate I was holding against the sink, resulting it in breaking in my hands. "Shit!" I gasped as the broken glass sliced my hand.

I rinsed my hand under cold water while Pony cleaned the glass out of the sink.

"What happened?" Darry asked when he saw the reddening towel wrapped around my hand.

"I got pissed at the plate," I said with a laugh. He shook his head and went into the bathroom to find bandages. I let him tend to my hand, even though I hated people treating me like a kid. After it was wrapped, I helped Pony dry the dishes and put them away.

"Hey, come here," Steve called as he walked out the back door. I didn't even know he was at the house. I followed him, figuring I might as well listen to whatever it was he had to say.

What came next made me feel like there was still hope, even if my world was falling apart in every other aspect.


	7. Chapter 6 - Tell Me That You Love Me

The weeks to follow Matt's deployment were the longest weeks of my life. Christmas passed without any real emotion, and the new year came and went as if it were nothing. I spent the days working the horses, mucking stalls, and working Midnight Belle, who had become one hell of a horse. She turned barrels with more grace than any horse I had ever rode before, and soon, Mr. Randell had convinced me to enter the rodeos with her, just as I used to with Stargazer before everything changed. I was also teaching lessons to amateur jockeys who were all too eager to learn.

It was late one Friday afternoon, the day before yet another rodeo, that I was out on the trails with Belle, letting her enjoy an easy ride, jumping logs and streams just as I had with so many horses before. We were on our way back when I noticed that she was lame in her front leg. Dismounting, I ran my hand down her leg. She let out a soft whiny, but didn't seem to have any clear injuries. I remounted and kicked her into a slow trot the remaining of the way back to the stables. When I got her cooled down and untacked and back in her stall, I called one of the other stable hands over to take a look at her leg. He said it seemed fine, but to keep an eye on it for the next few days, which I fully intended to do.

I looked at the clock and saw it was just after 9. My shift ended at 8:30, so I hurried to clock out and gather the dogs, hoping Damien didn't bail on me, again. I'd had to hitch rides home at least 10 times in the last month, and it wasn't one bit of fun. I clipped the leashes to the dogs and ran down the winding road leading to the parking lot at the front of the ranch. As expected, Damien's car was no where in sight. I cursed and shook my head, kicking a pile of dirt in the process.

"C'mon guys, let's call Darry," I muttered as I walked back down the winding trail, up to the main house. I sighed and slipped in and waited for the line to clear at the phone. Mr. Randell had converted the first room of his house as a sort of office, which he let his employees use freely. It had a small refrigerator, which held some Pepsi and lunch meat, so we could grab food on our way in or out, as well as a phone and a couch. I picked up the phone and dialed, waiting for someone to answer.

"Curtis Residence," a voice chimed on the other end of the line.

"Dame?" I asked, baffled.

"Oh, it's you," he said in a disgusted tone. "Soda's on his way down to get you now. I forgot you were working the same shift as me today. Sorry." he said as he hung up without giving me a chance to answer. Bull. He knew I worked the same hours as him, shoot, he drove me to work for cripes sake.

I walked back outside and led the dogs around to the corral where the much younger ponies were held. Marigold, a tiny palomino Shetland pony trotted over to the fence and nibbled my fingers as I ran my hand down her short nose.

"Hey Goldy," I laughed. She was a gentle creature, not much bigger than a big dog. Smaller than her bigger counterparts, but sweeter and more willing to learn. Sometimes we'd let the younger siblings of the amateur jockeys ride her, because of her gentle nature.

I turned to walk away, and noticed Chance pawing at the ground. I tugged his leash softly and called him over. He came over, his tail wagging. The little dog had grown quiet a bit, now far too big to be carried, though he had no problem of trying.

"Hey you," a voice called from down the trail. I looked up and saw Soda bounding towards me, his dirty blonde locks flowing in the breeze. In a way, he reminded me of an ornery, palomino stallion. I jogged over and gave him a hug. "Your brother's an asshole," he laughed as he took my hands in his. I shivered, his hands so much warmer than my own.

"I coulda told ya that," I laughed.

"Wanna go for a ride before heading home?" Soda asked, an eager smile crossing his face. I nodded and led the way through the stables.

"Take Belle, she's ornery, but easy enough," I called as I pointed to where her tack was. I walked over to Thunder Storm, a large, smokey gray stallion, who had the temper like the worst of storms and the personality as quick as thunder. He was one of my old colts at one point, before I moved onto true rodeo horses. Thunder was better for trails and classical, western just wasn't his thing.

Once we were both tacked and mounted, we hit the trails. The sun was setting, but even in the dark I was completely comfortable on the very familiar trail. I kicked Thunder into a fast gallop, letting the cool night's wind bite at the soft flesh of my face.

We pushed the horses into full out gallops as we neared the lake. Riding side by side, the lake to our left, the woods to our right. After about a mile, I puled Thunder back, letting him walk at a semi slow pace, watching the moon, the stars, the the trees.

"Pull up," Soda called softly between the small amount of space between us. I did as he said and dismounted. I turned Thunder loose, sure he'd stay close, munching on the lush, green grass. Soda did the same with Belle, though I warned him to keep her tied up, because the young mare would eagerly bolt off if she saw the opportunity.

Soda nodded for me to follow him over to the edge of the lake. I sat down against a huge boulder, and smiled up at him. He smiled and stuck his tongue out, as if to tease me. I grabbed his arms and pulled him down next to me, laughing at the innocence of the moment.

"You know, you've been hard to read," Soda said softly, running his fingers through my long, sun-kissed blonde hair. I looked deeply into his dark eyes and smiled.

"I've been coping," I said truthfully. "I'm just worried about Matt,"

"I know," Soda said with a nod. "And Damien's not helping, is he?"

"Not at all. I mean, it's one thing to treat me like crap, but no, he keeps treating me like I'm not even there anymore. Like I don't exist," I said, my voice cracking. "It hurts. But you, Darry and Ponyboy have been a huge help," I amended quickly. Darry had taken up the role as my older brother when Damien more or less shut me down. Ponyboy kept me on my toes, constantly forcing me into reading or writing or doing his math homework, just so I didn't have time to think. I didn't mind, it kept my mind off my brothers. And Soda, well Soda was a distraction in and of himself.

"Well you know we love you, I...I love you," he said, his voice soft, hinting ever so slightly how nervous he was about saying those three words. We never said them before, not really, not without "I think" or "I thought" before them. His eyes sparkled from the light of the moon.

"I love you, Sodapop Patrick Curtis," I whispered. He leaned in, his warm hands caressing my face. I felt my heart racing in my chest as our lips met.

The kiss started soft, sweet, careful, then became more. So much more. It grew passionate, hard, dangerous. His hands slid up the front of my shirt, carefully unbuttoning the buttons one at a time. I pulled his tight black t-shirt over his head, a soft moan escaping my lips. Without breaking our kiss, our pants were unbuttoned, the cool breeze brushing our skin, intensifying the feelings coursing through our veins.

There, next to the lake, two beautiful horses keeping guard, we made sweet, sweet love, the starlit sky lighting our way.

* * *

We laid there panting, our breath coming in shaky breaths, smiles plastered to our faces as we helped each other find their proper clothing and pull on cold shirts and pants. I shivered, rubbing my arms with my hands as the wind picked up. Still smiling, in a passionate silence, we mounted our horses and raced one another back to the stables.

"There you are," Red, one of the younger stable hands, waved when he saw us leading the horses back into the barn. "I was ready to send our a search party."

"I left a note saying we took the horses," I said as I handed the reins over to Red while Tommy took Belle from Soda.

"Yeah, but that was hours ago," Red said shaking his head. "It's almost two in the morning," he added.

I looked at the clock and cursed.

"I'll call Darry and let 'im know where we are," Soda said quickly. I nodded and walked quietly around to where Melodramatic was resting. The 19 year old mare was one of my favorites, her soft caramel fur and light gray patches reminded me of autumn. I rubbed her nose softly for a moment before turning to retrieve the dogs from the fields. I whistled loudly, slapping their leashes against the side of the fence. Before long, both dogs came racing towards me, eager to finally be going home.

Soda found me by the truck and smiled.

"Darry was about to have a cow when I told him where we were," he laughed as he helped me load both dogs into the truck.

"What stopped him?" I asked.

"I told him you needed some time to get things off your chest," he said with a huge grin. I doubled over laughing.

"He believed you?" I gasped, still laughing.

"Yeah," he laughed as he held the door, waiting for me to climb in.

We drove home with laughter and good spirits. It seemed surreal. Only hours before I was loathing my oldest brother and longing for my second oldest to return home. Now, I was overwhelmed with compassion, love and comfort. Then again, Soda's just one of those guys.

I must have fallen asleep in the truck, because next thing I knew, I felt Soda's arm wrap around my shoulders as a heavy blanket was placed over me. I smiled, half asleep, and whispered three words that held so much meaning at that moment. _I love you._

* * *

_A/n;; As always, I love hearing from my readers! I decided to change this story a tiny bit, just to add a little more spice. But never fear! I'm not turning this into a sappy, mary-sue love story. No way, not my style. But yea, it is going to have some more romance, so heads up. :)_

_Anyway, don't worry, we're just getting started. But I'd love too hear what you all think so far! _

_Happy Sunday everyone! _


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